Shouldn't women's resources amplify in community??

Today I’m thinking about energy, money, and exchange. 

This is something I am often thinking about. The dynamics of exchanges fascinate me. This is likely in my make-up, but of course has also come about through life experiences and traumas that have happened that I then analyze the crap out of. 

Human relationships, exchange, agreements and resources - I love love love to track the energy. 

A few months ago, I was receiving acupuncture from a woman who owns a local Community Acupuncture clinic. Community is literally in the name. 

As she was needling me, and after I’ve opened up to her all year about what’s going on with my health and emotional health, and I was feeling super soft and relaxed and in her care in the chair,  she mentioned to me that she and her partner are looking for a house. But she doesn’t know if she can afford it. 

She opened the door into multiple topics where I have professional tools to help. I hold a real estate license and I also do family financial strategies. Can she actually afford it? I can help her find that answer! Does she need a lender? I have several I can refer! Does she need help securing a home? I would be happy to help her find one in her price range! 

And as I’m chatting away excitedly telling her information she didn’t know before, she sort of gives an “eek” face and says, “It’s really nice to see you so lit up, but I’m not comfortable mixing business and personal.” 

Oh. 

This really confused me. Like, deep down, struck a painful nerve in me and an old familiar pain point. I respected what she said and stopped talking, received the acupuncture treatment, paid for it, and went home. 

She didn’t want what I had to offer, for some reason. But I had just received what she had to offer. It felt one-sided to me and I honestly haven’t scheduled with her since. 

I remember when I first started my coaching/healing business eight years ago and my acupuncturist then was also my friend, and also I had been his children’s school principal, and he also helped me regulate my hormones and menstrual cycle, and also I’d dated his best friend and he knew about the bad breakup, and then all things considered he also referred me as a new business owner straight away to a female client of his and she ended up working with me for half a year very successfully. 

It mattered so much to me that he knew so many details about me and that he still referred to my business. That felt like love. And like true community. 

And here, in Community Acupuncture, the woman who had been tending to my grief, hormones, and body all year, and who I’d trusted to do that, then didn’t want to know more about what I did for a living. She didn’t want my help. 

None of this makes sense to me. It baffles and hurts me and likely touches my wounded parts. I know rationally that different people have different boundaries about relationships and money. But to me, community means having relationships that honor the cycling of resources. And in a society where resources are often monetary, it means cycling referrals for actual business. If we lived more tribally and more connected to the land, the cycling of resources through the community would literally determine the survival of the whole. 

If we are truly community, wouldn’t we want everyone’s livelihoods to be enhanced? 

I can’t necessarily separate out “friendship” or “client” from wanting that person’s livelihood to also be enhanced. I don’t think I felt like that before being an entrepreneur, but after eight years, you betcha I pay attention to a person’s livelihood if they are a business owner or creator. 

If you are in my network and you have a small business, I’ve told other people about your work. I amplify referrals. I talk about the magic you offer. And I have found that there are many who don’t do this. The acupuncturist who treated me for a year didn’t even remember what I did for a living. She wants to provide a service to the community, but does she want to make sure that the members of her community are viable in every possible area of their lives? 

I have seen charities that will give away money but not support people getting work. 

I have seen the Asheville Mama’s facebook group let moms sell used cloth diapers but not talk about mom-owned businesses that would actually support the mother’s financial situation. 

I have seen women’s networking events that turn into “every woman for herself” efforts to get clients and everyone feels like their in survival mode. 

I struggle with a society that says, “Go out, make your own money, spend your money here, but I don’t care where the money comes from or what it takes for you to pay me.” 

I want us to care about one another’s financial well-being just as much as we might care for our friend’s emotional or physical well-being. I want us to feel less isolated financially in our culture, and for it to be the norm to want to see one another succeed, and in doing so, everyone has more of the resources they need. 

I’m curious, how does this land for you? What do you want to see? 

Stay with me, because I will be sharing much more about this, and also, I’ve been developing a way that women can actually get involved and amplify their financial resources at the same time. Which - and I love this - was always a mission of mine. I always said in the Sacred Remembering Community that I wanted any woman’s resources to amplify if she were coming into my spaces. Women’s resources do amplify if they come into my spaces - energetically, emotionally, physically, and financially.

Much love, 

Sarah Poet

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